Unstable

Right now I'm sort of feeling that my life is mirroring a Jackson Polluck painting. All aspects of my life are splattered across a canvas, crossing each other, bumping into each other, and merging together. And when you look at the canvas it's still asthetically pleasing to the eye...but its confusing...and in a way you're a little nervous, unsure, about what it all really means.

This week I found out that the owners of the property I work at have decided to get rid of my property management company (the company who hired me and I'm employed by). They have allowed us the chance to stay on with the new company if we choose to, however, it basically means starting at square one (just like a new job). I would be without health benefits for 90 days (thankfully I can jump on Matt's plan at Charles Schwab if this happens...which actually might be more cost effective for us in the long run), don't qualify for vacation for 6 months, and in essence am a "newbie" in the position I have held of 8 months.

Now you might need some background on my situation to really understand why this desicion is so difficult. When I signed on with my company last June I elected to come work at a class C property (properties tend to be rated in tiers. Tier A being your luxury property, Tier B being your mid-level property, and Tier C- I like to call them the "Properties in Transition"). When I arrived on site I discovered many problems at the property. There were cockroach and bed bug infestation, residents who were being allowed to continue occupying their apartment when rent had not been paid, and the files and accounting were a mess. Thankfully my management company had brought on a new manager at the same time as me and with his wonderful leadership (and hard work and dedication) we were able to turn the property around. Today, I can honestly say we have made huge steps toward a positive future. However, this all came at a price. When I signed on with my company I was promised that if I could contribute to this property and help make a difference then I had a solid future ahead of me...biggest inclusion...advancement. The possibility of managing my own property. Now here I am with the choice to stay on with a new company and start my "clock" over if you will. Advancement with a company who knows nothing about me is not in my foreseeable future.

So you might ask...why not stay with my current company? This is what I am currently attempting. However, as you may know in this economy...people who have jobs aren't giving them up easily. So there is a possibility that there will not be a position available for me to slide into. And where does that lead me?

Well, I don't really know.

I'm currently tracking down some information regarding my employment. If I choose to not sign on with the new company does that, in essence, mean that I am laid off? Or does it mean I quit? I don't think I can be forced to accept a position with a new company, but I don't know. This is where my Employment Law attorney will come in. I KNEW Law school was a good idea, ha.

Matt sems to think this change could be a blessing in disguise. It could provide me with the chance to get out of a property that has been a real difficult place to be for the last 8 months. I think I have learned a lot, but I certainly have struggled in the process. We will see.

So right now a lot of things are up in the air. But, I have to be confident, that like any Jackson Polluck painting that you look at long enough...things will eventually make sense.

Spring

"The air is like a butterfly
With frail blue wings.
The happy earth looks at the sky
And sings."
~Joyce Kilmer, Spring


I love days like today. The sun is shining...in the shade the temperature is a little cool for my taste, but in the sun it is perfect. I automatically become more optimistic about life and the "little" things that seemed to bother me yesterday are no longer on my radar. Because I'm smiling. And today is not the day to worry. Today is the day to enjoy.

It's Spring.

For today anyway.

What does Spring mean to you? What is the first mental picture you get when someone says "Spring is here?" Me, it's lame...but I see my house...lit up with rays of sunshine. The windows are open and a soft breeze is blowing the curtains back and forth. The house smells like pledge because we've just dusted all of the furniture and the wood floors are gleaming because they've gotten cleaned (not just swept) for the first time since the snow started to fall. I also get this ridiculous picture of a clothesline in my back yard....with big white sheets swaying in the breeze...the smell of clean laundry...the feel of clutter leaving my life. Spring clean. A new slate.

Many people say January 1 is your new slate. Your way to start the year on a different foot. Hey, I was there too. This blog is a product of that new start. However, for the next three months you can find yourself stuck in a rut...the snow melts but then immediately returns. The weather dips below freezing. The clouds hide the sun and force you indoors. It's hard to really make that new start a reality when you don't want to leave the confines of your bed.

But now, Spring! Daylights savings leaps you forward (okay, pushes) that first day with less sleep can feel like hell. But then you're here...the days are longer. When I get off work the sun is still shining on my way home. Rush hour immediately seems less of a pain... I roll my window down, turn the radio up, and smile. And if you look around you can swear everyone else is smiling too.

Spring is when all the patios in Denver open for business...friendly staff serving large, delicious, healthy salads (because in the Spring you WANT a salad...and no longer does the grease of winter appeal to you). And that ice cold beer with the sun beaming down is the most delicious beer you've ever had.

And you take a hike or a bike ride in the park. And you're laughing. And you're thinking, "Is this really my life?" because you swear this moment is from a book, carefully constructed, a beautiful picture that can only be that...a picture. Surely not reality. But it is. It's your life.

Because it's Spring. And the sun is shining. And it's time to make that new start...so take a step forward. The world is waiting.